From the Desk of Eugene Dinsmore
by Azrael-013
Summary: To everybody else Eugene may come off simple-minded, but underneath that head of curly hair is an intelligence few would suspect. PG-13 for humor and language.
1. Fantasy and Reality

  
  
** From the Desk of Eugene Dinsmore**  
  
Genre: Humor/Fantasy  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: To everybody else Eugene may come off simple-minded, but underneath that head of curly hair is an intelligence few would suspect. PG-13 for humor and language.  
  
I've been stumped for new ideas for a while; all I knew for sure was that I wanted the main character to do some writing of their own as the story progressed. I thought of Eugene and everything else sort of fell into place. I'm not sure how well this first chapter turned out, as I really thought I could stretch it to much longer than this, but I think it's a good enough start.  
  
Date Uploaded: 10 September 2004  
  
** Chapter 1: Fantasy and Reality**  
  
_ In an ancient time of knights, dragons, spellcasters and kings, a small yet influential kingdom called Wentworth thrived. It's many sections and subdivisions was ruled under one king named Vincent K. McMahon II. But as he, his wife and children often traveled the globe strengthening alliances, waging wars and securing more riches from other kingdoms, Wentworth was often left unattended. To remedy this the kingdom was divided under two prefects.   
  
The first was Thaddeus Long, who presided over the Shamborg half, and the second was Eric Von Bishop, who managed the half called Rem. It was fairly harmonious in Shamborg as Thaddeus Long was just and well liked by his people. In Rem, however, it was another story altogether.  
  
Eric Von Bishop was a petty, vindictive and an often partial man, more inclined to fill his own coffers and service his own desires than attend the people. As such he was despised by his subjects and a lot frequently planned to overthrow him. This was virtually impossible, however, as Von Bishop had the backing of the richest and most powerful of the city's noblemen, Hunter Hearst Helmsly. Helmsly had Von Bishop in his backpocket and as such was the true presider of Rem; his word was law. All the people knew it and had come to resent the Helmsly family as well.  
  
It was in these troubled times that Eric Von Bishop's nephew, Eugene V. Dinsmore, came to stay in Rem, Wentworth. And from then on the boy's simple life was never quite as simple as it once was._  
  
** »»»**  
  
"Eugene, there you are!" William Regal's voice sounded from up the hall, jolting the rookie from what he was doing.  
  
At the sound of his trainer's, and as most figured, his babysitter as well, call, Eugene Dinsmore quickly closed his small, leather-bound notebook, slipping that and an old blue pen, virtually ink-less, into his shirt pocket. The kingdom of Wentworth and its subjects would have to wait until later. Eugene turned on his big, goofy smile as Regal jogged up to him. "Hi, Willie!"  
  
Regal's face grimaced at the nickname and Eugene nearly burst out laughing, knowing how much the Englishman hated being called 'Willie.' Regal soon composed himself, though, and let it go. "Eugene, you have a match against Sylvan Grenier in twenty minutes, you can't be seated here scribbling! Have you warmed up?"  
  
"No, Willie," Eugene lied, enjoying the frantic frustration etched on Regal's face. "You want me to do some stretches?"  
  
"Yes, stretches, yes, lad," Regal said, nodding wearily. "At least you're already dressed, but hurry. Go do your stretches in the locker room. I'll pick you up in ten minutes."  
  
"Okay, Willie," Eugene complied, heading off. There were some obvious perks in pretending to be childish and simple-minded, such as watching William Regal piss himself explaining stuff and trying to be patient with him. And then again there were the downsides, such as doing his writing in secret. It was a shame, as writing relaxed him, offered him a small escape from reality.  
  
But there was no time to pine over that at present. Right now he had a match to prepare for.  
  
** »»»**  
  
Once in the ring Eugene immediately thought of another upside to his deception. No matter how many matches and upset wins that he had had in the past, his opponent always underestimated him. It never failed; a vaguely empty, cheery smile on his face and his foe let his guard down, thinking that he had this in the bag. Sylvan instantly committed this crucial mistake and was now feeling the aftereffects as Eugene slammed him face first onto the mat with a flapjack.  
  
"That's it, Eugene!" William Regal encouraged from the sidelines. "Now go for his right shoulder; it's a particularly weak spot."  
  
The advantage of having a trainer/manager/partner/babysitter who had spent countless months observing and helping out in OVW was that he knew a lot about the talent that came out of it. Eugene followed up with a shoulderlock but Grenier, who had heard Regal's piece of advice, quickly crawled over to the sides and grasped the bottom rope with his free hand. Eugene had to give up the submission hold.  
  
At that moment Rob Conway entered the ring, determined to level Eugene with a clothesline. Regal had accidentally distracted the referee at that moment, but fortunately Eugene saw Conway coming and ducked, causing Rob's arm to collide into the recuperating Sylvan. Horrified at his mistake, Conway rolled out of the ring and was immediately trounced by Regal, much to the crowd's approving cheers.  
  
Back in the ring Sylvan was victim to the Stunner. Three counts later and Eugene had successfully picked up the win!  
  
"Well done," Regal praised as the two of them headed backstage, but Eugene's mind was already on what he would add in his fictional chronicles.  
  
** »»»**  
  
_Much too busy and impatient to deal with his young nephew, Lord Eric Von Bishop immediately shoved Eugene off onto a teacher named Willem Regal. This was initially not to the liking of Sir Regal, as he thought the boy clumsy and slow-witted. Priding himself as a man of his word and one with many capabilities, however, Sir Regal took Eugene under his wing, tutoring him in arts, sciences, literature and physical defense and combat. An eager learner, Eugene may not exactly have excelled in his subjects, but his enthusiasm earned him the praise and respect of his new tutor.  
  
"I cannot for certain say that you have been my best student," Regal admitted after Eugene had bested Sylvan Grenier, a fellow squire, in a swordfight. "But you are certainly one with the most heart."  
  
"Then I consider that an even higher compliment," Eugene replied, grinning.  
  
"Surely your uncle will be pleased to hear of your improvement," Regal said, clapping his student on the back warmly.  
  
At that Eugene's face clouded over. "My uncle..." he murmured, looking up at the high towers of the prefect's castle._  
  
** »»»**  
  
"Yes, Eugene, this is your uncle," Eric Bischoff's impatient tone said, cutting into his thoughts.  
  
Eugene blinked, realizing that he and William Regal had encountered the RAW General Manager in a corridor backstage. He quickly slipped back into his mental disguise and grinned happily. "Hi, Uncle Eric! Did you see my match out there?"  
  
"Yes, I did, Bischoff said with his usual twinge of irritation when dealing with Eugene. "I was impressed by it, actually. Follow me to my office, would you? There are a few things I'd like to discuss with you and William Regal," he beckoned them forward and began walking.  
  
Eugene must have let slip a worried expression on his face because William Regal encouragingly nudged him forward. "Come on, we might as well see what he wants now."  
  
And so the two followed.  
  
** cont'd**  
  
So, how did you guys like the start? I do have a bit of a basis for a good plot, but that'll unfold in the next chapter. I'm also going to try my hand at romance, although I know I have a tendency to suck in that department. Comments? Critiques? Flames? Anything is welcome! 


	2. To Evolve or Not to Evolve, That is the ...

  
  
I threw fit upon typing this second chapter. Truth be told, I had finished it all in one sitting, but I was unfortunately using my father's laptop at the time. For some reason it ate up more than three quarters of the entire chapter, and then when I tried to open it the second time I found that all four files originally on it were gone and a previous file I thought deleted was the only thing left. Well FUCK…  
  
Anyway, here it is, reconstructed as best as I could from memory. Fortunately that's still intact. Enjoy.  
  
Date Uploaded: 12 September 2004  
  
**Chapter 2: To Evolve or Not to Evolve, That is the Question…**  
  
_Before coming to Rem, Wentworth, Eugene's mother had warned him: "Your uncle is not a kind man. He is greedy and deceptive. Truthfully, if there were another way I would not send you to him, but I'm afraid that this is the best choice. Wentworth will be good for you, but always be on your toes. Show respect for your uncle, but never fully trust him."  
  
Harsh words for a sister to say about a brother, true, but they had echoed through Eugene's head back then and still did now. As such he was wary the day he was unexpectedly summoned into Eric Von Bishop's chambers.  
  
"Ah, Eugene, there you are. We've been waiting for you," Von Bishop greeted as soon as his nephew stepped inside. In an armchair sat Sir Willem Regal, looking as curious and as cagey about this meeting as Eugene was.  
  
Now Von Bishop finished signing his name with flourish at the bottom of a document, and then motioned for Eugene to have a seat. "Sit down; I have a proposal for you that I believe you'll favor."  
  
"What is it, uncle?" Eugene inquired, taking the armchair beside his mentor and facing Von Bishop's desk.  
  
The prefect looked particularly pleased today, and that put Eugene on his guard. "Lord Hunter Hearst Helmsly came to me yesterday. It seems that he has a man down in his household after a dispute with Richard Orton. I always thought that that young man was a stubborn one. Anyway, Lord Helmsly has asked me to find an able-bodied replacement."  
  
"And that, I assume, is where I come in," Eugene said flatly.  
  
Von Bishop didn't look pleased at his nephew's presumption. "Yes. But make no mistake, Eugene, you were not my first choice for this position. Yet lately I have heard promising things from your tutor here, Sir Willem Regal."  
  
Eugene hid a displeased frown at this barely disguised insult. Beside him he saw Regal sneer a little in distaste. He had about as little fondness for the prefect or his opinions as Eugene did. Both of them kept their mouths shut, though, and let Von Bishop continue.  
  
"I have decided to extend to you this prestigious position, knowing that it is an important opportunity for a young man such as yourself."  
  
Eugene wasn't fooled; he could already sense his uncle's interior motive. Von Bishop merely thought that having a family member in Lord Helmsly's circle would be advantageous for himself in the long run. Sir Regal shifted in his seat, signifying that he was aware of that fact as well and was not comfortable with it.  
  
Von Bishop gave one of his patented, cunning smiles. "Well, Eugene? I trust you have no objections?"_  
  
**»»»**  
  
"Join Evolution? Are you quite mad??" William Regal was saying incredulously as Eugene wandered back from Wentworth and into Eric Bischoff's office at the arena. "I don't know about you, Eric, but I vaguely remember the last time Eugene encountered Triple H and his band of glorified thugs-"  
  
"Be careful what you say, Regal," Bischoff quickly warned. "The walls have ears and as you and I know they're particularly treacherous."  
  
Regal scowled at having been caution like that, but he bit back any more insults and continued. "Listen, Evolution has beaten and humiliated Eugene once. All I'm saying is that if you feel any responsibility at all for your sister's son you will forget this nonsense!"  
  
Regal had Eugene's best interests in heart, Eugene knew that, but in some situations he wished that he could have his voice heard. Now was one such situation. But how to interject his opinion here? Hmm.  
  
Bischoff looked irritated at having been told off by Regal and retaliated. "The boy came here to wrestle, and like it or not, his best chance of continuing to do that is under the influence of someone who's already established himself in the business. Triple H, as you know, is the perfect person. If there is anyone who can help cement Eugene's standing in this business, it's Hunter. Don't you want him to succeed??"  
  
"Of course, but not at the risk to his safety!" Regal countered.  
  
"Oh talk all you like; the bottom line is that this is Eugene's decision," at that Eric Bischoff turned to face his nephew. "Well, how about it, Eugene? What do you say about joining Hunter and his friends? He's your favorite wrestler, right?"  
  
Finally, an opening in which to add his own two cents. Eugene pretended to think carefully about the matter. "But Triple H hurt me…" he said thoughtfully.  
  
"That's right, Eugene," Regal said, nodding. "He strung you along and then took advantage of your naivety. He is not the right companion for you."  
  
"No, that was just a misunderstanding!" Bischoff stepped in, quick to remedy the situation. "Hunter was surprised that you would accept that challenge from Chris Benoit. He thought that you were the one turning on him and so his actions were only to protect his friends and himself. I'm sure that if he found out you didn't mean it he'd be your friend again."  
  
"How on earth do you sleep at night what you blather such utter bull?" Regal asked him, flabbergasted.  
  
At that moment Eugene was trying his best not to laugh. Both Bischoff and Regal looked completely ridiculous quarrelling among themselves while having to explain something to what they thought was a childish mind. Now, however, Eugene decided to get their attention and cleared his throat a little bit. Surprisingly it worked and both men stopped their arguing to look at him expectantly.  
  
"Can I think about it, Uncle Eric?" Eugene asked.  
  
Bischoff gave in to that. "All right, Eugene. You have a week to think about it, but don't let William Regal here make the decision for you. Okay?"  
  
"Okay, Uncle Eric!" Eugene said, smiling as inanely as he could before jumping up off the couch and heading to the door.  
  
Just as he was about to exit he heard Regal whisper angrily to Bischoff, "This is not over yet," before following him outside.  
  
Eugene had to smile. Regal was over protective, and long ago Eugene had decided that that was a good thing. However, his uncle was right about one thing; this was solely Eugene's decision and nobody else would influence it.  
  
**»»»**  
  
Outside Eric Bischoff's office Eugene stepped from the door and nearly collided into someone else. "Hey, watch it!" a voice demanded.  
  
Startled, Eugene turned and found himself staring straight into the brown eyes of Gail Kim. Eugene was always more than a little dazzled by the Korean/Canadian diva. To him her tanned skin was flawless, her lips pink and lovely when smiling and her jet-black hair always gleaming in the light. If there was one person on the roster that Eugene didn't fake speechlessness from it was Gail; when he would meet her all words, even the most simple ones, seemed to fade from his head.  
  
Gail's initially harsh expression softened at the sight of Eugene. Unlike most others, she didn't find Eugene's childish mannerisms at all irritating; in fact she thought them endearing. Sure she came off as a conniving little vixen to most everyone else, but around Eugene she found that affecting airs and pretences were useless and so she dropped them. For all her faults Gail was never untowardly mean to anyone who couldn't defend himself or herself, and to her Eugene was one such person.  
  
"I'm sorry," Eugene now managed to stammer out shyly.  
  
"It's all right, Eugene, forget it," Gail said, shrugging their near collision off. "Visiting your uncle again?"  
  
"Yes, and you wouldn't believe what odious little scheme he's cooked up for his nephew this time," Regal said in distaste. "Are you here to see him as well?"  
  
"Yeah, Eric promised that he and I would drive back to the hotel together," Gail answered.  
  
Eugene hoped he hadn't winced at that. It was common knowledge that Gail and Bischoff had frequent trysts together and he loathed it.  
  
She turned to him and all hate seemed to melt away, at least momentarily. "Scheme? What does your uncle want you to do now?" she pursed her lips disapprovingly. Gail disliked it when Bischoff took advantage of his nephew.  
  
"Nothing," Eugene immediately blurted out, clutching Regal's sleeve at the same time to keep him from telling her himself. The last thing he wanted was for Gail to interject on his behalf. "It's my decision, he said," Eugene answered to his trainer's baffled look.  
  
Gail still looked perturbed but decided to respect Eugene's choice. "All right then, Eugene. But make sure that it's the right one, okay?" she patted his arm affectionately before slipping past them and into Eric Bischoff's office.  
  
William Regal watched Eugene watch Gail go and hid a small frown. He wasn't completely blind; he could see Eugene was infatuated with the diva. He just hoped that it wouldn't complicate the boy's standing in the company more than it already was.  
  
**»»»**  
  
_"My decision…" Eugene murmured absently to himself as he strolled through the gardens of the prefect's castle.  
  
Nothing is black and white; there is always a grey area. His mother had once told him that as well, and right now Eugene agreed with her wholeheartedly. In every situation there were pros and cons and this was no exception.  
  
The reasons for rejecting this offer were quite obvious. Lord Helmsly was more cunning, cruel and manipulative than his uncle could ever aspire to be in his life, and that made Eugene already understandably hesitant. Another was he had had his own run-in with the nobleman in the past, and the skirmish that followed resulted in him receiving a beating that required immense medical care. Eugene was not looking forward to a repeat episode.  
  
But then there were the upsides as well. Lord Helmsly was undoubtedly the most powerful man in this half of the kingdom, and those he favored he thrust into stations of authority. Like any man Eugene craved power, but not in a way that his uncle did. He wanted power to better himself and the people around him. If not, what was it good for, then?  
  
As the angel and devil fought over his head he continued past the rose bushes and weeping willows and presently came upon a person by the pond. There, seated, was Gwendolyn Kim, trailing her fingers over the clear surface of the water.  
  
Gwendolyn was a beautiful woman, exotic to Eugene, with her dark hair and dark eyes. In Eugene's eyes he found her more exquisite by the day, and now he thought her particularly stunning, the sunlight reflecting on her shiny, back hair, her yellow dress simple so as not to overshadow her natural beauty. Any fool would only have to look at Eugene as he looked at her to know that the young man was clearly besotted with her. He would have somehow managed to convey his feelings to her, even through his shyness, if not for one problem. She was his uncle's favorite courtesan.  
  
Now Gwendolyn looked up and, upon spotting him, waved pleasantly. Her smile erased all present conflict in Eugene's head and he smiled back, summoning his courage to walk up to her.  
  
"I'm glad that I am not the only one out here enjoying the flowers," she greeted. "Hello, Eugene. And how are you today?"  
  
"Quite well, Gwendolyn," Eugene said in reply, trying to quell his nervousness. "And you?"  
  
"Same old," she said impishly. And then she gazed into his face. "I saw you and Sir Regal exit your uncle's chambers this morning. You seemed troubled then. Was there anything wrong?"  
  
"Wrong? No," Eugene answered prudently. There was no need to drag her into this matter. "It was just a simple matter, one of no great importance."  
  
Gwendolyn didn't look like she believed him, but stood up anyway with a smile. "Well, your uncle has insisted that I spend the day with him, and he would have me think that THAT is of great importance," she laughed. "I'm afraid that I'll have to leave you to wander the gardens alone. You don't mind, do you?"  
  
"Of course not," Eugene said, although it pained him to have to let her leave, and especially to see his uncle at that.  
  
She smiled again, warmly. "Maybe next time we can walk together. Goodbye for now, Eugene, and take care of yourself," with that word of adieu she turned, waved, and then walked back in the direction of the castle walls.  
  
Power. Power to better himself. Power to better those around him. And now Eugene thought of another use for power - to overthrow his uncle. A small frown crossed his face as he watched Gwendolyn leave. Yes, that was what he wanted. His decision had been made._  
  
**cont'd**  
  
Damnit... My original manuscript was better… I was more concise in that one than here; here I blathered on like an idiot. Well, I suppose it has the same idea anyway. Hmm… Bojacky is right; this is a different flavor from my other stories. I probably should change the humor tag; either that or stick in a variety of comedy relief. Jericho as the court jester, anybody?  
  
So what do you guys thinks so far? Like I said, I'm not very good when it comes to romance, and I know that Gail Kim and Eugene may be the oddest (heterosexual) pairing to come out in a long time. I thrive on feedback! Comment on anything, and I promise I'll try to make it better! 


	3. Very Colorful Characters

  
  
Yep, humor. I agree with Luke, I need to have a bit more humor in thus story. I didn't go through with making Jericho the court jester like I said in the previous part, but I think I slipped a little bit back into my comedy element here. Hopefully. Enjoy.  
  
Oh, and a bit of a note here. I started it when Randy Orton was still champion, and so that is why it's stated here that he holds the Heavyweight title.  
  
Date Uploaded: 24 September 2004  
  
** Chapter 3: Very Colorful Characters**  
  
Like Bischoff had said, the walls had ears anyway, and pretty soon the news of Eugene's impending decision discreetly spread throughout the locker room. Despite being specifically instructed not to influence Eugene's decision in any way, William Regal obviously didn't make it this far in the business playing dumb and sitting the sidelines. He immediately saw a loophole; if he couldn't advise Eugene directly, then he would get others to do it for him.  
  
_Sir Christopher Benoit was a knight of action, having risen through the ranks purely on his abilities and on nobody else's. He had taken on men like Lord Helmsly, Sir Jericho and Lord Kain and had prevailed against them, much to the displeasure of the first and third. As for Sir Jericho, well, the two had beaten each other senseless in the past and had trained in the same garrison. As such they respected each other a lot.  
  
Eugene had encountered the two of them at the barracks one day, bruised, spent, and lying on their backs on the ground, swords to their sides.  
  
"I won that round," Sir Jericho wheezed out breathlessly.  
  
Sir Benoit spat out another tooth before replying. "I think you'd have to be standing to be able to claim that."  
  
Jericho then caught sight of Eugene. "All right then. Hey junior, help me up!"  
  
"Do it and I'll cut your legs off," Benoit said, somehow directing the threat to both Eugene and his exhausted sparring mate at the same time. He was an exemplary man, and obviously one of few words._  
  
Few words but to the point. Chris Benoit's simple advice for Eugene was this: "Trust people like Triple H as far as you can throw them. Better yet, just throw him. Because you'll gain nothing from allying with a scumbag like that."  
  
_If Sir Benoit was a man of few words, Sir Jericho the Lionheart was the exact opposite. He was a bigger talker than he was a fighter, which isn't to say that he wasn't competent enough as the latter. Often he boasted about himself and disparaged his enemies, and since his foes were powerful yet disliked men like Von Bishop and Lord Helmsly, the people lauded him despite his egomaniacal qualities.  
  
Of course that wasn't to say that his mouth didn't land him in trouble from time to time. Take the instance when Princess Stephanie McMahon came home to visit for a while. Jericho, arguably not as drunk as he insisted, had leaned over and said loudly to the king's daughter as the music stopped, "… of you in the good old days. I agree, they are fine mammaries-I mean memories."  
  
The suspiciously well-endowed Princess Stephanie duly rewarded him with a slap to the face. Did he learn anything from the experience? Of course not._  
  
And Chris Jericho took Eugene to the side in the locker room and told him in his usual cutting manner, "What are you, a glutton for punishment? Triple H already wiped his ass with you and threw you away once, and now you're contemplating a second helping?? Come on, Eugene, I know you have to be smarter than that! You've got plenty of opportunities to make it big; you don't have to rely on that beefed-up, big-nosed jack-off and the rest of his posse."  
  
_Lady Victoria was one of the few noblewomen in Rem who had not gained her status traipsing by the side of a man. She had once been thought insane by the people due to her tendency to give everyone crazed looks and her obsession with destroying women like Patricia Stratus and Lady Lita Dumas. Now she had seemingly reformed, and yet most still wondered what on earth happened between the supposedly close bond she had had with Lord Steven Richards, a man who, incidentally, was given that title through default when Victoria had acquired hers.  
  
"If a woman can be called a Lady simply by marrying a Lord, then I would think that the reverse ought to be true as well," Lady Victoria had proclaimed staunchly to Von Bishop. Her persistence won out in the end._  
  
Victoria gave her own plight a few months back as an example to Eugene. "An opportunity to join Evolution myself came up once. Triple H said that I was a strong, dominant woman, and that was what his faction needed. In all actuality I think the only reason for the invitation was for Evolution to bogart all the belts on RAW. And seeing as Trips and any of the others would have made very ugly women, they decided that the best possible way to get the Women's Championship was to actually recruit a female. Once I realized that I turned the offer down. Fortunately by that time Triple H was so engrossed with his feud with Shawn Michaels, he barely noticed."  
  
_Sir Sexton Hardcastle, despite being easygoing by nature, was a knight not happy with his title. More specifically, he wasn't fond of the name that followed his title. The man once known as Adam Copeland, obscurely nicknamed Edge, seemed to have Lady Luck snorting uproariously at him the day he was proclaimed a knight.  
  
"It is NOT funny," Sir Hardcastle often muttered grumpily at a snickering Jericho, who spread the story freely and with much mirth.  
  
The prefect had been different then, a jovial man by the name of Michael Foley. Prefect Foley, in a very rare period of drunkenness, had abruptly dubbed him Sir Sexton Hardcastle, a name Copeland had once conjured for fun when he had been young and, apparently, was working very hard to impress the ladies. Now he was considered one of Rem's heartthrobs, and yet he still worked continuously to get his outrageous name changed._  
  
Following the creation of Edge's fictional Rem character, Eugene hereafter found it hard not to snicker in the blonde Canadian's face when encountering him. If Edge noticed he didn't say anything about it, but did offer this piece of advice about his situation. "Let's face it, Trips isn't the nicest guy out there. You'd be better off under your uncle, even if he is a dick. Think carefully about this one, Eugene."  
  
_ Ryan Orton was currently the most unenvied man in Rem, owing to his abrupt turn against Lord Helmsly. In secret, however, the people praised him and looked up to him precisely because of this shift in character. He was not one of Eugene's favorite persons in the world, but did stand his ground when Orton approached him and listened to what he had to say._  
  
"Hey, Eugene," Randy Orton began, a little cautiously because understandably the history between the two was not an amiable one. "I know I was a jerk to you back then, but hear me out. When I was with Evolution, I thought it was the shit. Parties, drinks, women, the works. Now that I've broken free, I realize that it was just shit. Don't make the same mistake I did. Triple H is not the ticket to glory."  
  
Nope, but maybe pinning Orton was, owing to that shiny, gold belt on his shoulder. Eugene entertained the idea for a while as he walked off.  
  
** »»»**  
  
Not to be outdone, Eric Bischoff sent a bevy of his own superstars to try and sway Eugene's decision. No one was being very subtle about this, were they?  
  
_ Patricia Stratus fancied herself Rem's leading socialite, but in reality was nothing but a high-class whore. She worked hard to earn herself the title of noblewoman, almost baiting even Sir Jericho once, but it faded out in the end. Rumor was she was even eyeing Lord Helmsly, but their history was not a favorable one, and the aforementioned Lord was still aiming for the King's daughter, despite having been rejected twice.  
  
"Marry Lord Calloway then," Gwendolyn Kim had once kidded her, referring to the rumored practitioner of dark arts in the half of Wentworth called Shamborg.  
  
Patricia shuddered. "Are you insane? Story has it that he has married countless times and his wives all just suddenly disappear without a trace."  
  
"Precisely why she suggested it, Patricia dear," Lady Victoria interjected with a smirk, walking away and leaving an enraged Patricia behind her._  
  
Trish Stratus had been in the makeup chair as she chattered almost mindlessly along to Eugene. "Everything Triple H touches turns to gold. Everyone who's ever crossed paths with him has benefited-Chris Jericho, The Rock, Mick Foley. Look at Randy Orton; he knows that Triple H is the reason he's where he is now but is too stubborn to accept it, the little ingrate. You could gain a lot from this alliance," here she looked him up and down and smirked. "God knows you could use it!"  
  
_ Lord Kain the Unmasked had been a fearsome creature when he had been shrouded, living almost as a recluse in his dark hall at the edge of the city. Now that he had exposed his true face, literally, he had become an eerie force that seemed to delight in walking the streets and sending people, especially little children, scurrying from his path. Lately he had forced the Lady Lita Dumas to become his bride, and she was often seen being dragged unwillingly from place to place by her undesired husband.  
  
Eugene had once been unfortunate enough to be seated close to them in a banquet, having heard a bit of their conversation. "… How many more men's legs do I have to break before you are convinced of my love for you?" Lord Kain asked in a voice that seemed to want to project a creepy sort of warmth.  
  
"A creature like you is devoid of love; what you feel for me and what swells in my stomach is only obsession," Lady Lita had replied coldly, merely generating an odd smile on the face of the malevolent spell caster._  
  
Considering he had been silent for so long, when Kane talked it was always best to listen in case he decided to MAKE you pay attention. "Triple H is a nasty son of a bitch, but in a business like this a man that influential will be your best friend. You don't have to like someone to be able to profit from them."  
  
_ If Sir Sexton Hardcastle was unfortunate in name, his former partner Christian Cage was decidedly unfortunate in profession. Both having trained as competent soldiers, Hardcastle was luckily bestowed the title of knight, despite said name, but Christian was given another route, also by former Prefect Foley on that drunken night.  
  
"Every time I despair, thinking that I am in a perfectly horrible position, I comfort myself by looking at you," Sir Hardcastle would from time to time mock his once comrade-in-arms.  
  
"Screw you and the horse you rode in on, Hardcastle," Christian Cage would sourly reply, the bells on his fool's hat jingling as his fury rose.  
  
Yes, court jester. His abrupt fall may all be attributed to former Prefect Foley's intoxication, but rumor had it that Sir Jericho had more than a hand in his predicament. Christian has long desired revenge, but once you juggle and fall over in the name of entertainment it is particularly hard for anybody to take you seriously._  
  
If Eugene found it difficult to keep a straight face around Edge, it was practically impossible around Christian. This Christian obviously noticed. "I don't know why you're laughing, chumpstain. If you turn down joining up with Evolution you're screwed, and if you accept it you're screwed too, just possibly not as bad. Pick your poison, loser."  
  
** »»»**  
  
_ There were a few more notable personages in Rem. One was James Ross, a goodwill ambassador usually in charge of looking after the ties with adjoining kingdoms, not to mention soothe over any arguments that may have surfaced between Von Bishop and the prefect of Shamborg, Thaddeus Long. A good friend of his was an old knight called Sir Jeremy Lawler who did little nowadays save for attend tournaments and ogle women more than half his age. He also had a weird tendency to declare himself 'The King,' usually not when the true monarch of Wentworth was around.  
  
Madam Molly Holly was the only female knight among the royal guard. She had trained long, hard, and quite stubbornly to be able to earn her title. At one point Sir David Batista had cruelly told her that, even though she was knighted, hell would freeze over before she could call herself on par with the other men. In a fit of fury she had sheared off all her hair and challenged him to a jousting match, one she unfortunately lost. She did prove that she was as fearless as any other knight, however. Nowadays, if without a helmet, she was usually supporting a variety of different wigs to cover her head.  
  
Alan Snow was formerly the court jester, until the Prefect Foley absolved him of his duties (a bit hesitantly, though) and replaced him with Christian Cage. Now he spent his days as a teacher much like Willem Regal. Gregory Helms was the town crier, always the first with news. If he was first, however, a mysterious masked man calling himself Hurricane seemed to always be the second, arriving at troubled scenes always in time to save the day. He irked some of the knights to no end, to be quite sure, but some were happy that he took care of some of the smaller cases for them.  
  
There was a knight by the name of Sir Rocky Johnson II, who was often traveling outside of the kingdom. He visited Wentworth every now and then, and Eugene had been lucky to meet him. Much like Sir Jericho he was outspoken, straightforward and curiously referred to himself in the third person, but with all his quirks was more than able to back up his words with actions. He was quite enthralled with the world of acting, however, and was rumored to be playing the role of Hamlet in the next Shakesperean production. To be or not to be a knight, that is the question…_  
  
** »»»**  
  
A lot of them, in some way, shape or form, had tried to provide Eugene with their own input about his predicament. Little did they know, Eugene had already long made his decision. Now, knocking on Eric Bischoff's door, he couldn't help but wonder if this would be the best or the worst choice he would make in his career.  
  
** cont'd**  
  
This started off well but kind of fizzed out towards the end. Basically I just wanted to introduce some of the characters Eugene had made for his little fictional world. They aren't final, not by a long shot, and more wrestlers will be popping up here and there, from both brands. Next chapter Eugene states his choice, and the young squire finally comes face to face with Lord Helmsly! Oh man, even I'm confusing myself now... Hope that you check back for it! 


	4. Decisions, Choices, Options

I am officially computer-less. I had about a fourth of this chapter ready when my trusty PC died on me. My dad, who had abused it along with Pyper in the last few days of its existence by downloading shit I routinely had to clean out, had the gall to tell me that it was entirely my fault. Right...

But enough of my whining. I know I'm way overdue for a chapter, and I don't think I was in form while typing this up on a beat up notebook computer. I resolutely promise to make up for it in the next one, but for now I hope this suffices.

Date Uploaded: 10 November 2004

**Chapter 4: Decisions, Choices, Options**  
  
"_Dinsmore? What possessed you to think that I need your country bumpkin of a nephew to hold one of the most prestigious positions in my circle??" came the roaring from Von Bishop's chambers, quite audible even from where Eugene was making his way up the hall.  
  
The reply to that wasn't half as loud, and as such Eugene didn't catch what his uncle may have said. Despite being as confident as he possibly could be, he did find himself softening his footsteps and pressing his ear cautiously to the door to listen.  
  
"I don't care how good you and his tutor Regal claim he has gotten in the past few months, I need someone with more experience," Lord Helmsly's voice came again, still displeased but now his growling had been kept at a minimum. "Sir Sexton Hardcastle, for example, even if he has the dumbest name I've ever heard on a knight."  
  
"I agree," Lord Richard Flair's voice followed. "Eugene is a boy who has learned to swing a sword in place of a stick, so what? He is not in position to command authority."  
  
"Not until you place him in that position, no," Von Bishop answered. "The boy has potential, and the masses seem to take to him for some reason. His inclusion in your group will boost the public's opinion of you, Lord Helmsly."  
  
"Do you think I care what the commoners think??" Helmsly snapped back, his voice rising again.  
  
Before Eugene could hear any more of the conversation the doors were suddenly yanked open, causing him to careen right into the room. Fortunately he steadied his footing and managed to right himself. In front of him was the massive figure of Sir David Batista with Von Bishop, Flair and Helmsly looking at him from behind the knight.  
  
"Hello, uncle," Eugene said lamely, offering a grin. "I've made my decision."  
_  
**»»»**  
  
Being busted for eavesdropping wasn't on Eugene's plan, but he recovered quickly and gave one of his almost idiotic smiles, immediately mumbling something about coming to a decision. That made Triple H swivel back to eye Bischoff.  
  
"His decision?" he said in a borderline cynical yet still dangerous voice.  
  
"Humor the boy," Bischoff said in a low voice, but Eugene still caught it.  
  
At that Triple H gave a displeased smirk. "This is WWE, Bischoff, not day care. I'm not going to mollycoddle your nephew."  
  
"Try to understand where I'm coming from, Hunter," Bischoff said, placing his words carefully in order not to make an already delicate situation even worse. "As Vince has said in recently he plans on making this company more interactive. The fans will have more of a say in decisions such as matches and possibly even who to keep around."  
  
"I still don't see what this has to do with us accepting Eugene into Evolution," Triple H said, but Eric's comments seem to have piqued his curiosity.  
  
"Face it, Evolution isn't high on the fans' favorites list, despite being possibly the best faction to have come out of this company in years," Bischoff added that last part quickly after menacing stares from Hunter, Flair and Batista. "As such you need a sort of leverage in order to gain the people's vote, so to speak."  
  
"And you think having Eugene around will help that?" Batista spoke up cynically.  
  
By this time Eugene had silently taken a seat on the farthest corner of the couch. He had a feeling from the start that his decision meant jack shit in this deal. If Hunter chose to keep him out he would stay out, and if he decided to let him join he would join, even beating him into it if he didn't actually want to.  
  
But he wanted to. So for once he was rooting for his uncle's smooth talking.  
  
"Bit of a long stretch, don't you think, Eric?" Flair said skeptically.  
  
"Not if you think about it," Bischoff said, smiling and looking a bit more comfortable now. "For some reason the fans seem to really take to Eugene. Having him within the faction would do a lot to boost the public's perception of Evolution."  
  
"And what if they think I'm just manipulating him again?" Triple H said, narrowing his eyes. "That'll jam us even further down than he first were."  
  
"So don't let on that you are," Bischoff said, lowering his voice so much that Eugene had to strain to hear him. "Stage a public apology and formally invite him to join the group. Have his back in his next few matches. It's confuse everyone and score you some very favorable points."  
  
Triple H then said something in subtle tones that Eugene didn't catch at all.  
  
"For as long as it'll benefit Evolution," was Bischoff's reply.  
  
Eugene wondered how long that would be. If the end result of this meeting did go his way and he would be accepted into the faction, he would have to tread very lightly.  
  
Triple H straightened and seemed to regard Bischoff with a mixture of suspicion, wariness and detestation. He then turned and looked at Eugene completely for the first time since the rookie walked into the room. He was regarding him in almost the same way, so Eugene decided against one of his perfunctory smiles, it would work against him in this situation.  
  
Flair, who was sitting in a single couch, gave a barely detectable shrug and Batista, standing by the door, simply cocked his head. Eric tried to look comfortable behind his desk but was failing.  
  
"Fine," Triple H said after what seemed like an eternity. "Next RAW we'll make the announcement formal." He turned to Eugene again. "Guess you're in Evolution now, kid," he said, with a cunning smirk that momentarily made Eugene wonder if this had been the best choice for him.  
  
**»»»**  
  
_"Rumor has it that you're set to take the place of Ryan Orton among Lord Helmsly's ranks," Shelton Benjamin remarked casually, swinging his wooden sword overhead.  
  
"Funny, I thought you wouldn't be one for gossip," Eugene said, equally as nonchalant, retaliating with an upward thrust that cut off his incoming attack.  
  
The two were training in the barracks but owing to the fact that Sir Willem Regal was no where around, they had lightened on attempting to smack each other with practice weapons. Normally this sort of slacking would have had them reprimanded, but the only authority figure in the area happened to be Sir Jericho, who was in the middle of happily loafing around as well.  
  
"Heh, you ought to dodge attacks as well as you dodge questions," Shelton said, parrying Eugene's swing and landing a kick, light but still enough to push the other a few feet away.  
  
Eugene stumbled backwards and rubbed his midsection. "And if I am, you're not going to talk me out of it too, are you?" he said.  
  
Shelton swiped at him and earned a headbutt for his troubles. "You're a big boy now, you can take care of yourself," he teased, backing off.  
  
Eugene was about to reply to that when a cry came not far from them. "Runaway horse! Watch out!!"  
  
He turned to see a mare bearing down on them, possibly spooked to the point of hysteria. Shelton gave him a huge shove and he ended up tumbling into a pile of hay. Spitting straw away he looked up just in time to see Jericho get knocked off his perch and splash right into a trough of water with a yell.  
  
Ryan Orton suddenly turned up near the gate, however, quickly caught hold of the horse's reigns and swung himself on. Within moments he had calmed the animal down and pulled her to a stop.  
  
Eugene watched as onlookers burst into applause and a modest Orton took a small bow. He remembered how just a few weeks ago Ryan Orton was loathed almost as much as Lord Helmsly. He wondered if his situation would sink into reverse in the days to come._

**cont'd**

I'm also guilty of not keeping up to date with what's going on in WWE. I know Gail Kim and a bunch of stars have been axed, but she, at least, will remain in this fic because it's way too late to change Eugene's love interest, ehehe... But in chapter five expect intrigue, betrayal, lust, and talking monkeys! All right, maybe not the first three, but at least more competent writing. Until then!


	5. And the Charade Begins

I promised competent writing in the last chapter (ages and ages and AGES ago...), but I think I only succeeded in making it more flowery. I did this in script form on paper and then transfered it to story format once I typed it up, and it stretched to much longer than I intended, while saying the most minimal fo things. Great, I am the Triple H of fanfiction. Please read on.

Date Uploaded: 14 May 2005

**Chapter 5: And the Charade Begins**

RAW. Pyrotechnics exploded around the stage and the crowd roared. Well, the part of the audience that wasn't covered with a tarp did, at least. Numbers were dwindling among spectators but the decline still wasn't as bad as some had predicted. TV ratings had remained neutral.

For those who were in TV land, however, could hear JR announcing this: "... The three members of Evolution have stated that they will have a special announcement in the ring tonight. We can only imagine what that'll be."

"Well after what happened with Randy Orton I'd say Triple H and the rest of Evolution is entitled to whatever they have to say," King said, immediately siding with the heel faction.

Before JR could say anything to that Evolution's music hit. A chorus of boos accompanied Triple H, Ric Flair and Batista as they walked down to the ring, all dressed in three piece suits. A few fans in the audience rolled their eyes and settled comfortably in their chairs. This clearly meant a long in-ring segment.

After the usual fanfare and the music and crowd died down, Triple H walked around the ring for a bit, microphone in hand. Finally he moved to address everyone. "For weeks people have been wondering, what'll Evolution do now that Randy is gone? Will he be replaced? Is he actually replaceable?" he gave a dry smirk to everyone, looking at Ric and Batista as if he clearly thought the questions ridiculous.

He continued, smile gone. "I don't know what show we've been watching, but Randy Orton didn't make up Evolution alone. In fact, the only time he became a definite somebody was when he was part of the group; now he's nobody. Nothing. Not even that belt, MY belt, gives him any identity. So, to make things clear to those of you who haven't been following, Randy Orton is MOST DEFINITELY replaceable."

Boos and jeers once more rose from the crowd. Backstage Eugene fidgeted, impatient in front of a monitor. He was scheduled to come out in a few minutes, but considering Triple H's capacity to take forever to state the simplest things, that few minutes could stretch to twenty. He decided he wouldn't let it come to that.

In the ring Triple H yet again continued. "So we go to the next obvious question; who will take his place? Who measured up and fit the standards of the most powerful faction this industry and the ones before it has seen? Who—?"

And he was mercifully cut off by the sound of Eugene's music. The audience seemed initially puzzled, but the moment they saw Eugene making his way out they lit up and cheered, even as JR wondered to King and the TV audience about what he was doing out here.

Ric didn't bother to hide his confusion. He just stood there with a bewildered expression on his face as Eugene entered the ring. Batista seemed strangely indifferent, or maybe he was just clever at being stoic. Triple H, as expected, was enraged. Eugene was a bit apprehensive as he grinned at them, knowing that he was testing Triple H's patience, but he wanted to hurry this segment along before the crowd fell asleep.

And so he smiled inanely, speaking into the microphone he brought. "You told me to meet you in the ring, right, Triple H? Remember earlier backstage, when you called me over and told me that—"

It seemed best to cut himself off right there as Triple H then looked mad enough to tackle him to the ground and ruin that Armani suit by beating him up. Fortunately Flair stepped in, imploring the Game to let him reason with the boy.'

"Now Eugene," Ric said off the mic, putting an arm around Eugene. "We went over this earlier, remember? You weren't supposed to come out until Hunter calls your name, isn't that right? Now tell me, did you hear Hunter say your name?"

Eugene looked suitably crestfallen. "No."

Batista spoke up in a low voice. "You may want to save the segment, Hunter," he said, noticing that the crowd had started to become restless.

"Right, right," Triple H growled, still annoyed but now resigned. He spoke into the mic again. "As I was about to say, Ric, Batista and I had settled on our man, and we invited him out to the ring… where he is right now. Eugene."

The crowd gave another pop, even if some members of the audience were wondering what the scam was. Eugene saw Triple H visibly relax, seemingly placated by how the crowd took to him.

Triple H went on. "Now Eugene, there are two reasons why we asked you to come out here tonight." Eugene obligingly gave him an exaggerated look of concentration that he bought completely. "The first is to apologize."

And at that the audience once more erupted into a volley of disbelieving jeers. One fan in the front row audibly yelled, "Like fuck he is!"

To his credit Triple H ignored it all and went on talking to Eugene. "That's right. I know our last encounter wasn't the, er, best, to say the least, but I'd really like to put it all behind us. Because if we can't then the second thing I'm going to ask you will be quite impossible."

While this was all very interesting, out of the corner of his eye Eugene saw Batista take a discreet look at his watch. He kept from grinning at that.

"On behalf of Evolution," Triple H went on (and on, and on, and on…), "I would like to extend an invitation to join our group to you, Eugene."

And the yelling started again, even JR and King had gone into their customary banter at their commentary table. A 'Don't do it, Eugene!' chant started somewhere in the middle and spread all throughout the arena. Eugene looked around for a while, pretending to be puzzled and concerned, and then lifted the microphone to reply. To his surprise he was interrupted when Jericho's music hit the air.

Now Eugene didn't have to fake looking bewildered. Jericho? He watched as the timer hit zero and the blonde Canadian stalked out in a hockey jersey, William Regal behind him. Eugene almost grinned again; Willie was playing it smart. He didn't have the solitary pull all alone so he got one of the most charismatic stars on the roster to accompany him. Eugene had to hand it to him. Triple H, meanwhile, was looking murderous.

"Eugene, I thought we had a talk about this," Jericho began, staying on the stage. "I even put it into the form of an amusing parody; imagine yourself as little Hansel, running around this forest called WWE. Evolution may look like that candy house in the middle of the woods, but when you open it up you'll find a hideous old crone with a huge schnoze who just begs comparison to Triple H. In fact, I believe that was his costume last Halloween."

Actually Jericho had done this at some point the past two days, and it had been all Eugene could do to keep from bursting out laughing. But great, just what he needed, another talker.

"Listen, jack-off, I don't see where this concerns you," Triple H told him curtly.

"It's called being a friend, assclown," Jericho snapped back. "What, is the concept too foreign for you?"

Regal took that moment to address Eugene. "Eugene, for the last time, please, I am imploring you to come to your senses!" Miraculously there were no cracks from anybody around at that statement. He was a little disappointed. That was so easy! But Regal continued. "Evolution is not the best path for you to take."

Now Flair spoke up. "Hang on just a minute there, Regal," he said, prompting a few 'WHOO!' shouts. "Don't you think this is all for Eugene to decide? Sure you were his mentor and partner and, yeah, so you may feel obligated, entitled even, to stick your nose in his business. But at the end of the day you have to realize that Eugene is a grown man and he doesn't need you as a babysitter."

"Oh, as opposed to you three attempting to mislead him right now?" Regal bit back.

Finally fed up, Triple H said, "Shut up." He turned back to Eugene (maybe he somehow realized they had gone way over their allotted airtime). "So, Eugene, what'll it be? Do you want to be a part of Evolution?" he asked in a voice that clearly said he had no other choice.

For the benefit mostly of the show Eugene adopted a confused manner. He looked between Regal and Triple H. Jericho stopped making faces at Evolution long enough to encourage the crowd to do another round of 'Don't do it, Eugene!' chants. Finally…

"You're my friend, Willie," Eugene said, choosing his words carefully. "But I want to be Triple H's friend too."

And it was settled. Even as Evolution congregated around him with fake smiles and the crowd groaned, Eugene saw Regal shake his head ruefully and turn away. His plan was in motion, but he felt vaguely sick to the stomach.

**»»»**

_In Rem a large, extravagant banquet was being held at Lord Helmsly's estate. All the notable personages had been invited, even Lord Shawn Michaels the Heartbreaker, who held no love for Lord Helmsly. In fact, most of the aspiring despot's enemies were also around, either through curiosity, the food, or having nothing better to do. Only Ryan Orton was a noticeable absence._

Eugene sat at the head table in between Lord Helmsly and his beaming, not to mention near-intoxicated uncle, Eric Von Bishop. On the other side of Lord Helmsly was Lord Flair and Sir Batista, the former quite enjoying himself and the latter seemingly mildly bored.

Looking around, Eugene spotted Lord Kain the Unmasked leering over his own wife, encouraging her to eat up, insisting it was for the baby's good. Eugene shuddered a little at the thought of what a child like that would be like. Alan Snow sat with his former mentor, Sir Willem Regal, both talking in low, serious tones, but once or twice they would glance in his direction. It made him uncomfortable.

He focused on a cheerier sight. In the center of the floor space court jester Christian Cage was in the middle of his juggling act. It was a complicated trick involving him standing on one hand while juggling three pins in the other. Whether through lack of practice or distraction from the crowd (which was rather valid as Eugene did spot Lord Steven Richards shooting something at him by means of a small, cylindrical tube), Christian ended up falling flat on his face, the pins tumbling down on his head.

At once most of the assembly broke into raucous laughter, led by Sirs Sexton Hardcastle, Jericho of the Walls and the normally sullen Christopher Benoit. Eugene was laughing himself until Lord Helmsly stood up and called everybody to attention. Christian took that opportunity to slink off.

"All of you may be wondering why I invited you to my humble abode here tonight and, provided you're not drunk out of your minds yet, I shall tell you," Lord Helmsly began, looking like he may have consumed more than his fair share himself.

There were a few weak laughs. Lady Victoria visibly rolled her eyes.

Lord Helmsly carried on. "As you are all well aware I had been looking for a suitable man to take on the recently vacated position in my circle. I am pleased to announce that after ardous searching I have found the right man for the post. From henceforth, Ryan Orton's stature and duties will be handed to Eugene Dinsmore, nephew of our prefect, Eric Von Bishop."

At that Lord Helmsly's underlings and brown nosers cheered in approval, lifting their glasses for a toast. A few others, like Sirs Jericho and Benoit and Shelton Benjamin were too stunned to do anything. Eugene stood up to bow to the guests and to shake Lord Helmsly's outstretched hand. He saw two things as he did; Sir Regal frowning and excusing himself, and the concern on Gwendolyn Kim's face. He didn't like either of them. The banquet went well on into the night.

**cont'd**

I actually found an old, near forgtten outline for this story among my piles of papers. If I follow it accurately this story has about ten more chapters to go in the very least. Oy vey. I'll have more up soon, hopefully! 


	6. Folk From the Other Side

  
Truth be told this chapter has almost no bearing to the story at all. Considering the setting and major characters are mainly with the RAW roster (which I still believe is the stronger one, what more now with Kurt Angle there as well), I thought it would be just a little fun to mess around with the Smackdown! stars for one chapter. For now, enjoy. 

Oh yeah, and for those interested, I updated On Air over at Nfiction. Check my homepage for the link.

Date Uploaded: 19 June 2005

**Chapter 06: Folk From the Other Side**

Despite the roster split (which was barely finite, what with the draft happening almost every year), stars from the Smackdown! brand could find themselves hanging around backstage during a RAW show, and vice versa. As such Eugene would sometimes visit the set before or during a Tuesday taping.

_As such Shamborg was not without its own noteworthy personages as well. _

Sir Curtis Angle was an upright knight, responsible, God-fearing, fair and brave, a decorated hero and jousting champion, all very admirable traits. Of course he probably would have been better liked if he weren't such a pious, stiff, preachy stick in the mud. He believed himself to be the perfect role model for not just knights but all men, and loathed anything that conflicted with his ideology.

He also had another peculiar quirk; he never took alcohol. That was why in banquets Sir Curtis was usually seen nursing a glass of milk among his very drunk peers.

"Curtis, man, you really have to lighten up," Sir Booker Huffman once told him in a slurring voice, already much too far gone over thirteen mugs of beer.

"Oh sure, and how would you get home to your family most evenings?" Curtis had shot back.

"Good point," Booker said after some consideration, before passing out on the table.

Fortunately Kurt Angle thought Eugene was a simpleton and needn't be bothered with, so whenever Eugene skittered by snickering into a black notebook, he hardly gave him a second glance. He may have if he figured out that Eugene had been the one to plant a stink bomb in his gym bag last joint roster PPV.

_If Sir Curtis was Shamborg's poster child, Edward Guerrero was his anti-thesis. Considered a lying, cheating and stealing scoundrel by authorities, he was an outlaw who routinely picked on those in positions of power. He was loud, given to flashy entrances, drinks, and parties and had a definite eye for the ladies. And yet he was adored by the people and received more recognition and respect from them than Sir Angle did. _

"You see, ese, you gotta learn to relax and have fun with the people," he said to Curtis during a brief period of imprisonment. "That's the only way they'll open up to you, holmes, not if you keep going on like you've got a lance shoved up your ass."

"I'll shove something up your ass if you don't shut up!" Sir Curtis had mistakenly answered to that, as other prisoners burst into peals of laughter. Edward escaped five hours later.

"Hey Eugene!" Eddie Guerrero called out when Eugene happened by. "Come and see me after the show, all right, ese? I'll take you out for a spin in the low rider and we'll meet up with some ladies, what do you say? Let's have some fun!" Eugene actually thought it did sound like fun, but unfortunately William Regal quickly pulled him away.

_Easily the most feared man in Shamborg was Lord Mark Calloway the Phenom. It was said that he practiced dark arts and had learned them from the mouths of the dead during his years working as an undertaker. He was spoken of only in hushed voices and no child even dared look up at his gothic mansion on top of a steep crag. Most crimes of unsolvable nature were often attributed to his work. _

"My brother?" Lord Kain of Rem said with a twisted smile when Eugene had once screwed up his courage to ask him about the Phenom. "You've heard all the rumors, haven't you?"

"Of course," Eugene remarked in what he hoped was an off-hand fashion.

"Well they're all true," Kain had said with a mixture of pride and envy.

Needless to say Eugene lowered his head with the rest of the kingdom when passing by Lord Calloway's formidable abode.

And even in real life Eugene kept his head bowed when moving past the Undertaker's dressing room. He was the only other person he didn't have to feign speechlessness around. Frankly he would have liked to meet him face to face, but Eugene resigned that to a day when he was confident his knees wouldn't knock together at the sight of the Phenom.

_Miss Torrance Wilson was a popular stage actress. Some people wondered at this, since she had lackluster skills, but then again she had an extremely pretty face and could pull off looking angelic. Her roles frequently involved damsels in distress who somehow end up shedding clothes as the play progressed, usually garnering her standing ovations from the male population of the audience. Was rumored to be a former can-can dancer of some sort._

Torrie was nice and pretty but honestly a little too bland for Eugene's taste. And besides, he already had his eye on Gail Kim. But he figured it never hurt to look.

_Lord Rene Dupree was a young, haughty French nobleman, who had inherited his title from his father. He was usually seen in the company of his manservant Morris and a ridiculous white poodle he affectionately named Fifi. He was arrogant enough to have knocked heads with the most important men in Shamborg and had even incurred the wrath of Lord Calloway, most probably due to blind ego and stupidity. Can be a bit of a dandy and was fond of comparing Shamborg to his beloved France. _

"So why the hell doesn't he go back there?" Sir Raymond Mysterio II groused once. "It would mean harboring one less pain in the ass."

"I'm half-inclined to believe the French king shipped him off here on purpose," Miss Dawn Marie Psaltis grumbled back.

Eugene had always felt a little sorry for Fifi the poodle; with Rene always hauling it around to and from the ring amidst thousands of people the dog had to be confused. He tossed the animal a biscuit when Rene had his back turned.

_One of the wealthiest figures was Lord Jonathan L. Shaw. Although notably less influential than Lord Helmsly, he was nonetheless the despot's counterpart in Shamborg. What Shaw lost in credibility he made up for in arrogance. He was fond of exhibiting his affluence to, it must be said, largely unaffected masses, and had a group of mostly glorified thugs that he called his Cabinet. _

Sir John Cena was a different kind of knight. A bit of a rebel within the ranks, he loved shaking up old traditions and testing the patience of his superiors. This was the man who once jazzed up his armor with an eye-catching dragon slayer design and had it polished to a mirror shine, much to the irritation of his would be jousting partners. He spoke his mind, was jovial and friendly to those he liked and remained a thorn in the side of those he didn't.

"I don't like you," Lord Shaw had once sneered at him contemptuously. "And I think it only fair to warn you that those I dislike don't stay in their high-ranking positions for very long."

"Well, to be perfectly honest, Lord Shaw, I don't like you much either," Cena answered amiably while grooming his horse. "And those I dislike don't find it very easy to get rid of me."

He clicked his tongue and at that point the stallion whinnied and promptly kicked a bucket of dirty water all over Lord Shaw and the members of his Cabinet. The irate noble and his faction left the stables spewing curses as Cena leaned back and laughed.

Back in reality, Eugene looked up from his notebook to see Paul London looking suspiciously at a snickering John Cena. They were in the general face locker room and Cena had just entered.

"John, JBL's been bitching for about half an hour because someone stole those stupid horns off his limo," Paul said to him. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"What, me? No!" Cena said, still with the grin. "But like I've always said, those things would look good on the wall of my uncle's ranch."

"You're fucking nuts, John," Paul said, rolling his eyes but smiling. "Hey, convince Regal to let Eugene join Eddie, Rey, you and me after the show, would you? I'll see you guys outside," he waved and jogged out the door.

"What?" Cena said in mock surprise as he came over to Eugene and Regal. "Are you serious? What you got against Eugene hanging out with a couple of pals?"

Regal looked pained. "Nothing, but you have to admit that with the past few—"

"C'mon Willie, let the boy come with me and Eddie," Cena argued good-naturedly and cutting him off. "Trust me, it'll all be good clean fun, and we all know that now the kid is workin' for Trips it'll be a while before he gets another chance like this, you know what I'm sayin'?"

Eugene frowned a little at that. Well that was something he should have seen earlier.

Cena never noticed his momentary discomfort as he barreled on to Regal. "And if you're just trippin' coz you weren't asked earlier then consider yourself invited, dawg."

"Lovely of you to offer, but honestly, we'll pass," Regal said as cordially as possible without showing his distaste.

"I wanna ride the low rider, Willie," Eugene then thought to add, trying not to laugh at Regal's aghast features.

"See, he knows what he wants!" Cena exclaimed, slapping an arm around Eugene's shoulders. "End of discussion then; the taping may be over but the night isn't! Eugene, homey, the guys and I are goin' to show you a party you ain't never seen! You too, Willie," he slung his other arm around a startled William Regal and began to pull them towards the exit. "Let's go!"

And so Eugene pocketed his notebook with a grin as Regal started a string of relatively unheard protests. Triple H may not approve now that Eugene was technically in Evolution, but hey, Eugene figured he had six more nights before he would have to answer for it.

**cont'd**

Well enough with that little interlude. Was that completely pointless? Eh, maybe. Regularly scheduled programming will resume in the next chapter.


End file.
